February 8, 2017

Nap Time Ramblings

This isn't supposed to be happening!  Am I a bad mom?!  This won't last forever, it can't hurt right?  Wrong?  I don't know!

These are all the thoughts running through my head right now.

As I lay here on the couch in my daughter's room yet again snuggling her through another nap time, I am realizing more and more that God is screaming in my face to just slow down.  I mean I've been praying for clarity in my life and in how I spend my time.  Praying for Him to teach me what it means to live a simple life.  And here, right now, I see a glimpse.  Is it just a coincidence that she is sick AGAIN?  After a few weeks of "bad habits," last week we worked so hard to get away from her needing to sleep on me for her nap, and here I am again, still in my pajamas at 1:30 pm, with a super congested toddler on my ever-growing baby bump.  I have to wonder in the midst of all of this if there is something God is trying to show me.  I certainly enjoy the snuggles but I have to tell myself that baby boy's room will somehow come together before he gets here.  And yet I hear a whisper telling me to "stop, breathe it in, it'll be over too soon, and you'll wish for these moments."  Then I naturally start to tear up as I scoop my sick child out of her crib and she nestles so deeply into my neck and instantly falls asleep.

Oh Jesus, teach me how to bury myself in You more each day.  How to nestle in when I feel uncomfortable, insecure or unsure of what is happening.  When I feel overwhelmed wrap me in Your unfailing and unconditional love.  And let me breathe deeply in the joy that comes from clinging to You as You guide and love me tenderly through my days.

Isn't the picture of motherhood so beautiful as it points to our need for Jesus and His love for us as we love our children.  I am thankful to be a mama and would never trade it for anything.  These moments, in whatever season of life you find yourself, are far too fleeting.  Stop.  Enjoy it.  Pray.  Listen.  Smile.  Trust.  And never take it for granted.

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